Yes, I took time off of work. I put aside the email and the phone for the most part, and soaked up some sun and breeze and lake. I ate too much, slept too long, and cracked a beer at 2 p.m. on the boat dock most days. The weather was perfect, and in many respects, it was the picture perfect vacation.
But the best parts of this week had little to do with me.
I got to watch as my father adored my daughter, smitten with her as completely as I thought he might be. Tough, stoic Swede that he is, he melted the minute Abby showed up and smiled “Hi, Grampa!”. I’ve seen him smile more in the last 6 days than I remember in a long, long time.
My dad and I never had the “perfect” relationship, whatever the hell that means. He wasn’t my softball coach or the guy that came to all my music recitals or drove me and my girlfriends to the mall.
But seeing him with my daughter, laughing with her as they flung the garden hose around the front yard, I realize just how precious he is to me, flaws and all. In fact, that’s all part of what I’ve come to love about who and what he is. My daughter cares only that my dad is there to chase geese with and blow bubbles and throw rocks in the lake. Now, he’s precious to her.
I guess I never really needed him to be that textbook dad. I’ve learned a million things from him, many of which I’m only now starting to realize. Some of them I could never have learned from anyone else. And the magic is that now, as a mother and a grown daughter, I’m teaching him, too.
So vacation to me this year was partially about relaxing. But more than anything, it was about reconnecting, and embracing my dad – truly – as the person he is. Finally without reservation. It was about seeing my daughter take such joy in his silliness and his warmth. And knowing that I’ll be able to share with her, for years to come, the things about him that have helped make me who I am.
We’re all flawed. Being human can be hard. But there’s nothing like a vacation spent with family to remind you just how little some things are, and how big it is to love unconditionally. Who knew I’d find it, after 33 years, at the lake?
