I won’t compromise on trust. The one thing I cannot, will not tolerate are people who lie to me. People who say they will do something and then they don’t do it. People who say one thing to my face and say another to everyone else.

What’s interesting though, is how I’ve learned to deal with this in my life. I used to be tremendously hurt by this type of behaviour. I would be devastated for weeks, months on end. Hurt beyond belief. Remorseful, regretful, even revengeful.

I’ve learned that when someone breaks my trust, it’s got little or nothing to do with me. There are lots of reasons that people lie, cheat, steal, or hurt. But they are that person’s reasons, and in the end, I’m just part of the fallout. I’m not the reason. Once I realized that, I was able to stop taking things personally, and though I will likely choose not to have that person in my life any longer, I am capable of forgiving what they did.

The thing I’ve learned about compromise is, you have to stand tall for those things you will not bend on. But you also need to be willing to accept that those things you will not compromise are the very things you must ultimately learn to forgive in others.

What I won’t compromise is an interesting twist to ponder. Behaviors I value are genuine sincerity, honesty, and integrity. I believe it is important to accept people as they are and wish to be-but provide constructive feedback if someone is seeking help/guidance. Friendships are to be valued and nurtured. Relationships are highly complex, and levels of closeness are variable. The fundamental base of sincerity will facilitate an enhanced relationship, no matter the degree of friendship.

I too have faults, and work toward exploring/improving upon these dynamics. Looking inward is part of the human experience.

Thanks for the post!

I’ve found that I have this ridiculously fierce independence that I used to hate. Maybe surprisingly, I’m a bit of a loner in that I *have* to make time for myself on a regular basis to step away from the world. I used to get so upset that I needed this time alone, but hey, what justification do I have for fighting who I am?

There’s always room for improvement, but some things about ourselves we have to learn to accept to be okay. And usually, if we spend enough time dissecting these things we’ll figure out they’re really not so bad after all.

And 8 hours the following night.

This went on for a week or so, until we talked through everything and then some. The trigger was never pulled, and the gun eventually got put away for good.

Last year, 16 years after that fateful week, she celebrated the birth of her daughter.

If there is one thing I will not compromise on, it is helping someone I care about make the transformation from despair to hope, from darkness to light. It is non-negotiable. Over the years, stories like this have cropped up throughout my life, variations on the theme of helping someone awaken inside themselves their true power.

I cannot compromise because I have seen the benefits of that tenacity.