The Balance of…Balance

by Amber on March 12, 2010

I have a weird thing.

I have this presence on the internet, mostly because of my job and my work (thanks to my employers). I appreciate it. I do.

But the problem is this.

That awareness – much of which I did not ask for – implies expectations that I cannot fulfill, no matter how many hours I work. Yes, I have a job. But that’s one piece of things, yes?

I go to a conference and part of my job is to be present, engaged, available. But is there dispensation when I say that my professional persona is off the grid, and anything else (or not at all) is just me, the person, the very fallible human being behind it all? When I want to be with my friends and colleagues by selection, not by design?

And what does that tell you about the value of relationships in business? How can you aspire to be in someone’s inner circle, and really think about the commitment that entails?

To those that question my commitment, responsibilities, and integrity when I’m striving always to find a balance between what I owe and what I’ve earned: to hell with you.

My job is part of who I am, but it never, ever defines me. And you can judge for yourself whether I meet your criteria of “authentic”. Doubt me? Have the stones to face me down in person. I dare you.

  • http://noteasytoforget.com James Ball

    Amber, I don’t really have anything to say after reading this except that I appreciate the window into what it’s like to be you. I can imagine it’s a heavy thing and I admire the way you carry it. :O)

  • http://twitter.com/sara_mc Sara McGuyer

    This post is a surprise, but only because I can’t imagine anyone doubting your authenticity. Keep your head up, and give ‘em your best, feisty authenticity if need be.

  • http://www.potluckmama.wordpress.com Beth Coetzee (Pot Luck Mama)

    Breathe, Amber. Equally through each nostril, in and out. Find your center.

    They want you because they sense a giver. Yes, some of them are takers and they will drain you. There is nothing wrong with surrounding yourself with other givers for a little recharge. That recharge fuels your professional persona (your positivity, too!) and it’s why you put yourself out there in the first place – because it brought those other givers into your life. You’ve got this, girl:)

    Have fun!

  • http://deswalsh.com Des Walsh

    Thanks for sharing. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way who our true friends are. Your post brought back a memory of my being at a celebration of a company with was a client of the agency I was working with. One of the directors, whom I had thought of till then as a friend, accosted me about a matter of potential benefit to him and when I pointed out I was just trying to enjoy myself and it was about midnight then, he berated me in a very master-servant fashion. I was shocked and it spoilt the night for me because in those days I hadn’t learnt not to take such rudeness personally, but it taught me a valuable lesson about fair weather friends and that “friendly” clients are not always friends.

  • http://www.jeremymeyers.com/ Jeremy Meyers

    I think you already know your circles. The people who you would go to the ends of the earth for, the people you’re happy when you see but dont necessarily seek out, the people you can be a resource for and will be friendly to, the people that annoy the hell out of you.

    I’m struggling with this as well, and have been discussing it in therapy. When someone presents a problem or a challenge or a complaint to me, I immediately look for a solution for them, especially if I’ve dealt with something similar before. I have that expectation of myself, that I need to always be helpful. I think that this really ends up taking a toll on us, as we’re always on the lookout for ways to to this, rather than necessarily being authentic in the moment (when sometimes we just don’t have anything to offer)

    I’ve been working on realizing that being a giving and generous person does not mean that we are selfless in every moment, and that sometimes the best thing we can do for everyone is to take some time for ourselves and say “you know what? I can’t answer this work question for you right now, because its 7pm on a Sunday and i’m having dinner. This doesn’t make me a bad person or neglectful in my duties, it makes me a human deserving of compassion and space when I need it.” As i said on your altitudebranding post, you shout put exactly as much consideration into others demands of you as you feel they warrant and no more.

  • http://Shrinkrapping.blogspot.com Greg Smith MD

    Wow. I can only wonder what incident (s) lead to the depth of feeling in this post. At any rate, good for you. I am enjoying your offerings and will keep reading. Thanks for your efforts.
    Greg

  • Jami Dix

    Hey Amber,
    Just figuring out that you write for multiple blogs, websites…you know what I mean:) I’ve been following you on Twitter, we’ve exchanged a few e-mails…I am by no means claiming to know you, but the little that I know about you it is OBVIOUS to me that you are more then authentic. So, thanks for being you….:)