I’ve had the honor of being mentioned in some lists this year that recognize women doing good things in social media (my industry) and business. I deeply appreciate being recognized for hard work, and for contributing something of value to my field.
So I hope it won’t come across as ungrateful when I mention that I don’t particularly identify with the alliances, groupings, or other things wherein my gender is the central pivot factor. It’s really just because, well, I’m a person first.
And there are probably lots of other monikers or classifications I’d put myself in before “woman” jumped to mind. Musician. Mom. Professional. Bibliophile and word nerd. Lover of science geekery. Equestrian. I’m passionate about being those things, and they are what I most identify with.
I’ve never felt particularly comfortable in things like women’s networking groups, or mom groups, or sororities, or anything that’s particularly female-only, or ever gotten really hypersensitive about feeling like I’m being looked at or treated differently because I’m female.
That’s not to say I don’t understand that gender disparities and discrimination aren’t real – they are the same way that racism or bias for sexual preference are, too. And I understand full well the gender-based atrocities that happen to women in other countries, and would unequivocally stand against such things.
But it’s just not where I choose to park my wagon, fortunate as I am to live and work in a culture that allows me to make choices that aren’t based on those biological facts. I’m a person that has so many dimensions, interests, and identifying characteristics that have far more to do with my intellect than my gender. And I never, ever want to fall back on my woman-ness as a reason for why something didn’t happen for me – for better or for worse. That just feels – well – like a copout.
Perhaps I’m lucky that I don’t feel like my gender has ever been in my way. Perhaps I’m too naive that I think my work, my contributions to society, my role as a parent and friend and professional can be determined by what I do and who I am beyond something as mundane as being a girl. Perhaps it’s shortsighted of me that I don’t get all riled about anything but the most blatant offenses of language – I figure most people railing against “chicks” or “broads” are really frustrated at much more than the fact that those people have a vagina.
So I’m going to continue to thank those that choose recognize me as a shining example of my gender, because perhaps it will show a young woman somewhere to realize she can be whatever she wants to be, if she’s feeling like being a girl or not is a defining factor.
But as it stands, what I’m really aiming for is to be recognized as an outstanding professional, parent, contributor, and person, regardless of my female persuasion. To inspire people, not just women. To challenge the way things are done, make waves, create impact, and give back something bigger than my own humanity.
The way I figure it, the indelible mark I make on this rock when I leave won’t care whether or not I was a chick.
